Rest in peace...

This morning I was given some news that has affected me more than I would have thought. I've been struggling to keep my composure all morning and feel like I need to write a letter to a lost friend, so bear with me.

Dallas, my estranged friend, I'm saddened by the news of your death. We were pretty close friends for a few years, then things fell apart. We both know the reason, so no need to put that dirty laundry out there. We had a lot of good times, and I still think about us sitting on the porch of the apartment getting ready for football games, me taping my pads and gear, and you painting your toe nails. Still cracks me up. I also remember basically missing your birthday party in the same apartment because I was drugged up on morphine after having knee surgery and missed the entire thing...noise and all. Going to the Cash was a pretty regular thing for us and we had "our" table that everyone knew.

There were also some pretty rough times. There was one particular girl you knew I liked but you went for it anyway. I blew it off because I didn't figure I had a chance anyway. The weekend Bobbie flew to Vegas for Jessie's bachelorette party was the end of our friendship. Even though we didn't speak again, I thought of you often and hoped you were getting your life together. I tried reaching out a couple of different times to see how you were doing but got no response. When I was told of your death this morning it really shook me. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me.

I wish I could have been more of a positive influence on you my friend. I know there was nothing I could do, and you felt you were in control of your life, I just wish it would have ended differently.