What fuels me...

Susan and I have been reading The 5 Love Languages lately because we want to make our relationship as strong and long-lasting as possible. It's been truly inspirational and enlightening. It didn't take long for me to figure out what hers was, even though we haven't quite finished the book yet, but I've struggled trying to ascertain what mine is. I've thought of all the things that make me feel good, but none have really struck a chord with me. Until this evening. I was watching a TV show while Susan was studying. One of the characters said something that pierced me to the core, and I knew my "love language" had been confirmed. He said, "I just want to make my dad proud." 

Now before I go any further, for anyone that hasn't read the book, your "love language" doesn't only apply to your love life. It applies to your life in general, every relationship you have, whether it is friendship, work, acquaintances, or any other human interaction. I realized the thing that fuels me, makes me want to do my best, please others, and do everything possible to make others happy is words of affirmation. Not long ago, my boss sent an email to our team asking for feedback on what motivates us, makes us happy to come to work, and to go above and beyond. It took me a couple of days, but I finally replied. I was very honest in my thoughts, and took great care in the wording. I was a little fearful of her reply, but felt I owed it to her for the honest truth. The thing that fuels me is knowing I'm appreciated, sincerely telling me I've done a good job. My customers make me feel that way, always saying it to me verbally, sending me email saying how much they appreciate what I do for them, or just dropping by my office and saying thank you for taking care of us. My company on the other hand...not so much. Of course, this makes me work even harder to take care of my customers, to not let them down, to always do whatever I need to do to make sure their issue is resolved. I know they appreciate me, and I never want to let them down.

In my love life, Susan treats me the same way. She lets me know she appreciates me, loves me, and doesn't take me for granted. She evidently figured out my "love language" before I did. It took a TV show and thinking back to the email I sent to my boss before I figured it out. There are still a couple of other people in my life I hope will figure it out eventually; one I know never will but I can still hope, the other...well...some day he's going to tell me he's proud of me, and I'm going to feel like he actually means it. Until then, I'll just keep trying to be my best, give everything I have, and some day...